I grew up knowing ‘things’ and ‘stuff’.
I knew these things because I was raised with a certain belief structure and core value system. Just like I know my name isn’t “oi you”. It took me a while, a LIFETIME, to understand that these belief systems are there as a guide, and not to follow them to the letter – but to treat them as they are meant to be used as a tool.
The set of values I received as a child led me to believe that I was not as important than other people. I learned not to want anything, because it would be taken away – and that it was better be kind and offer as much as you can to achieve love in return. Being told that it was important to give your whole self to something else – in my case, it was other people – is what it’s like to “work hard and be of value”.
But, what does this actually mean?
I need to give everything I have from my bucket so that someone else can feel what I want to? I need to share the food I eat, so someone else doesn’t go hungry?
It is easier to look at someone else’s situation and help them remotely, because of the outside nature – you don’t feel their stress or emotions. Until you stand in their shoes, it is impossible to relate! Until you walk their path, there is no way of detecting their fears, or understand their belief system. What they value the most, is what makes their decision points real to them.
How many times have you felt sorry for the homeless man, or see the children of Africa and thought about donating to the cause, but when the man from the weird church comes to your door, you avoid opening it because they are different from what you believe. What is the difference between Christianity and Born Again Christian – definitely not the God, right? It is the institution! The building and the Preacher!
What is so different between that mind, and your own? More importantly, what is so different between the food you work for, and the food the homeless man doesn’t.
I was recently told “it’s not your problem” with regards to something that is most definitely mine. “what has it got to do with you?” This from a man who earns a lot more money than I do, and has a life of his own. “why can’t you just say no, and walk away?”
Being an Empath (someone who has empathy for the world around me – and also one who lives by the Universal Energy) this stood me back, I was left floorless. Something I gave everything up for, and to achieve big things with, and it doesn’t matter… to anyone? What was I doing? Who am I? Just “walk away”?
My belief structure was SHATTERED! My value system was just ripped apart! What I was raised to understand and, in EVERY way, live by was, just, gone! I gave everything, lost everything and dedicated my life, health and existence meant n o t h i n g at that point in time. All the moments I felt as a child came back to me, hard. It wasn’t about me, it was about everyone else! I wanted to heal the world with this, and how dare I think about myself… What’s it got to do with me?
The most important lesson I learned from this experience, is that the Universe will never throw something at you, that you can’t handle. You just need to listen, observe and open your mind. I needed this discussion to happen, because I invested everything into something that didn’t involve my own safety and security – both mentally and physically. I let myself go. Giving everything I had to everyone else, meant that I couldn’t look after myself. This belief system was great for other people – even those Master Manipulators / Abusers that I had attracted into my life (this is another story).
An investment of oneself means that One needs to receive something back energetically. If you give everything in your bucket to others, the only thing you have left for yourself is an empty bucket. But if you plant seeds you had in your bucket into a garden, that investment will provide food for you and those others in need.
Establish your own Belief System.
Revisit your values – constantly.
Check in with those Values and Beliefs and live by the principle of how it checks in with you, not because you are being selfish, but because you need to live! Without you, there is no us.